wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
