we have officially lost it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
