if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
