No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
