We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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