no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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