Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize