he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just gargled with NyQuil
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
