We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
These tits shall not be calmed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
