called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
