thus making me awesome and them whores
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
