I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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