I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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