I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
