Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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