I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
