Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
