She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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