i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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