I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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