I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
