No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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