yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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