Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
