The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You did what with his pubic hair?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
