I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Actions speak louder than pants.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
