I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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