it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
