when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
