Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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