Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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