...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize