Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
