i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
