All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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