im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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