so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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