i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
