Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
