Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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