Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize