I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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