these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
