God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
