we have pet lesbian snakes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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