I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize