Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
