I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
