Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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