My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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