I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
