i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
