if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
