I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize