I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
