My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
