2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
