I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
